Black Silk
by AngelCrescentra
Summary: AU. 4 years ago, Bella Swan made the conscious decision to become something greater. At least, that's what she thought she wanted at the time. 4 years later, she's got a beautiful home and family and she has everyone she loves most in her life. Yet she finds herself missing...something. Was it a feeling? A person? Was this the life she ultimately wanted? Some steamy scenes. JxB.
1. Effortless

A/N: I do not own the Twilight franchise or any of its characters. They belong to Stephenie Meyer. This story takes place four years after Breaking Dawn. AU. Thank you for reading!

Chapter 1: Effortless

Everything was grey. The sky. The walls of the bedroom. Her skin. Life seemed to have lost its meaning.

Dull.

It didn't matter how good the weather was, which wasn't very often anyhow because this is good 'ol murky Seattle, and it didn't matter the events that took place over the course of the day. For a while now Bella's life just seemed mundane-same old, same old. She felt...empty. It was as if she could feel herself gradually slipping away from her husband and daughter. There were days she longed for an escape, even if it was for a little while. Edward occasionally leaves the house to go hunting or take care of other important matters around this time of day. He always offers Bella to tag along and usually she would. But lately she felt in all respects, tired.

With a worn-out sigh, Bella sat up in their California king bed and sauntered to Renesmees's room. She was gone. She must have already gone outside to meet Jacob for the day. Bella walked over to Nessie's window bench adorned by white cushions. She pulled back her silver patterned curtain to see if they were nearby. She saw no one.

Jacob only visits three days a week, which although it may be hard for Bella to admit, is probably better for everybody. Bella is well aware of the countless heartaches she put him through, and she doesn't blame him for the wall he's built specifically for her. Though, sometimes she could swear that sometimes he lets his guard fall. But never for too long. There have been times when she's caught him staring at her in a way that he rather shouldn't-like she's the only person in the room. His gaze would be so tenacious at times that she couldn't help but stare back. Their sensual exchange would be interrupted by a not-so-subtle clearing of the throat from her husband.

She heard the door to the back entry way of the house slam shut, causing her train of thought to come to an abrupt stop.

"Mom! We're back!" Renesmee yelled from the kitchen. We're? Bella thought. Jacob couldn't have possibly been with her. He never steps foot inside the house unless it's a holiday. When he visits with Renesmee he limits himself to the woods and La Push. What could be the reason for this?

The stench hit Bella intensely. Blood. Was Renesmee hurt? Jacob? Bella scurried down the foyer and down the stairs and rushed to the kitchen.

It was Jacob. His leg was badly wounded. A deep cut ran from his knee to almost halfway up his thigh.

"Jake, what happened?" Bella's voice shook with worry. Was it a vampire? Is someone after him? Bella's mind was going a million miles a minute. Why am I just standing here? she thought. She ran to the cupboard underneath the sink to get out the first aid kit. When she stood back up she was met with rather calm stares from her daughter and best friend.

"What? Why are you both staring at me like that?" Bella shrieked with confusion. Jacob and Renesmee exchanged looks until he finally spoke.

"Relax. Ness and I were climbing up a tree and coming back down, I fell onto some branches. Not a big deal." Jacob spoke in monotone. Bella stared at him with confusion still. Renesmee plopped down from the marble isle and walked out of the room, shaking her head. Bella could've sworn she heard her daughter mumble something but she paid it no attention for now.

"Jake, that's a huge cut. Doesn't it hurt at least?" Bella asked, gazing at the wound.

"Well, yes but not much. I'll be okay. I'm a w-".

"Werewolf. Right. Got it." Bella's cheeks turned into tomatoes. She dropped her head to look at her bare feet, playing back her recent episode. They were so relaxed because he'll heal fast. That would explain the placid stares. Now it was clear she'd made a fool of herself. Looking up from her feet she was met with a soft gaze from Jacob, who was sitting slumped on one of the stools. He looked like his younger self. The Jacob that pulled her out of the depths of her despair when Edward up and left. But that was then and this is now. Times have changed and people she loves most along with it. Though out of everyone, she believes Charlie has changed the least. To her surprise, Charlie's actions and feelings towards Bella remained the same after her decision to change. Bella will love him eternally for that.

Jacob waved his hand to Bella. "Anyone home?" he said sarcastically. Bella shuddered when he grabbed her arm. She didn't even realize that he had walked over to her.

"What, Jake?" Bella was embarrassed. Perhaps the vampire transformation only changed but so much.

Jacob's hand traveled tenderly down her arm to grab her hand. Bella's eyes followed his hand to see him interlace his fingers with hers. It was these types of moments that Bella sensed he was letting down his guard. He used his other hand to slightly tilt her head upward. "You know, you don't have to get so worked up over me.", he said softly; his eyes seemed to read her as easily as a children's picture book. "I appreciate it, really. And don't look so embarrassed." he added with a sweet grin. This was the Jacob she missed-there to comfort her when she was feeling low or flustered or just completely out of it. But this was an all-the-time thing. And it shouldn't have been. In fact, it shouldn't have been this way for a long time now. Jacob deserved to have someone to care for him, too. Bella was going to make an effort to change that.

Bella gingerly removed his hand from her chin and tugged him toward the isle. Jacob slid atop the marble in one smooth movement. "What are you doing, honey?" he asked.

"I am trying to be the one to help you for once. Sit still." Bella went to grab the first aid kit again. She pulled a stool over. She had no idea what she was really doing, but she was at least going to try. Jacob watched as she sorted through the various bandages and gauze. She spotted some peroxide and some cotton pads. She felt Jacob's hand on top of hers causing her to pause.

"Bells-" Bella's gasped softly. He hasn't called her that in God knows how long. He's letting his guard down. "You really shouldn't be messing with that stuff if you don't know what you are doing. Plus...you know...", He was referring to her being able to ignore his blood.

Bella scoffed, "Please, I'll be fine. Who can't handle something as simple as peroxide and a little blood? Besides, if I ever did cross that line it wouldn't be with you. I wouldn't be able to live with myself. Now sit still!" Bella's eyes looked back over the wound then back to his eyes for reassurance. Jacob rolled his eyes in surrender. She slowly rolled his shorts up above the wound, careful to not cause him more pain. She could feel his eyes burning into the top of her head as she went to work.

"Well you, my good Sir, are done." Bella joked and did a half bow. Her laugh filled the grand house. Jacob just shook his head in amusement, his gaze soft. Little by little he stopped laughing until he was just staring at her-intense but soft. Much like the stare that almost got her in trouble with Edward. Bella missed moments like this immensely.

She found herself matching his gaze, both of them trying to read the other, neither one saying a word. But Jacob was sensing something he hadn't seen in a long time, not since Edward left her. She wasn't happy. Bella's eyes averted his and fell to the cold floor. She couldn't believe the affect he still managed to have on her after all that's happened. It was then that she realized how little space was between them. Before Bella knew it, her eyes were welling. She knew Jacob finally unearthed the darkness she'd been carrying for months now. He could always tell what was going on inside her head. Trying to fool him was always impossible.

Bella came to terms with her poor decision-making skills almost half a year ago. But what could she do about it? She had built a family and a sustainable but now lackluster marriage. She decided to become a vampire at a young age, too immature to thoroughly sort out the countless details. She gave up her sleep, her diet, her normal friends, all to be a part of his life. And for what? Just to end up like this only a few years later? As far as she knew at that point in her life, Edward had everything she craved to have for herself. He was perfect and supernatural. Bella was just, well...Bella. Nothing more, nothing less. However, there was one person who saw Bella to be so much more than what she saw herself to be and that was none other than her best friend Jacob Black. Perhaps Bella was too infatuated with Edward's qualities to recognize her own perfections. Jacob constantly told her how smart and ambitious she was as well as stubborn and clumsy. But that's what he loved most about her. She was balanced. Not too perfect (like Edward) and not too blemished.

Jacob started to slide off the counter but a hand pushing his chest back prevented him from doing so. Bella really didn't want this to be another time where Jacob was the one consoling her and not the other way around. He held onto her cold, delicate hand and pulled her towards him causing her breath to catch. The two haven't been this close in proximity in years, yet it felt so effortless. With Jacob still sitting on the counter and Bella now in between his legs, if anyone walked in they would take the scene to mean something totally different that what it was. But right now, that held no importance. Not even if her daughter and his imprint came strolling through the kitchen right now. This was dangerous. She shouldn't have been this close to a man that was not her husband. But it didn't feel wrong.

Jacob cautiously wrapped his warm arms around her freezing body-their differentiating temperatures also having no meaning. Right now they were just two people trying to be there for the other. Bella felt his warm hands slowly rub circles on the small of her back as she hung her head onto his chest, sobbing. She began to feel soft kisses on her auburn hair. Had they crossed that blurred line?

Perhaps the person whose footsteps they heard hurrying up the stairs could answer that for them.

A/N: Thanks for reading!


	2. Feel

**A/N:** **I do not own the Twilight franchise or any of its characters. They belong to Stephenie Meyer. Thank you for reading!**

**Chapter 2: Feel**

Panic ripped through Bella's rigid body. She withdrew herself from Jacob's embrace in a flash. Did the person see them? And more importantly who was it? Bella's anxiety sent her flying up the stairs, leaving Jacob frozen on the counter.

He hadn't felt like this with her in years. _All she did was clean up your wound, Jake. Get your shit together_, he thought to himself. Jacob knew he still had feelings for his married best friend but any chance of them being together went right out the window four years ago. That's not to say he wouldn't jump at the opportunity if it ever presented itself. Bella's hold on him was something otherworldly. And he hated that.

He couldn't stand how her mere presence improves his day—how he still loved to be around her. He couldn't stand that he still adored how she laughed, especially at her own bad jokes. He hated that there were days he'd long to have the life that the incompetent bloodsucker has with Bella for himself. He could have given her a child—more if she wanted. He would have built her a home from the ground if that was her desire. He hated that there were times when Bella would simply look at him and his heart would stop beating. He couldn't stand the way her touch made him shiver, and not just because of her cold body temperature. He hated the way she left him sitting there wishing she'd come back in his arms again just then.

And he hated that after all this time he still wanted her to be his. He hated this most of all.

Bella crept down the hall to her bedroom first. Lightly pressing on the door, she peeked her head inside. No sign of anyone so far. She went through the master suite to check the bathroom.

She breathed a sigh of relief. Edward hadn't come in yet. But if it wasn't Edward then it must have been—she heard faint sobbing coming from the opposite end of the hall.

"_Shit_." Bella was immediately filled with guilt. Her daughter, his imprint; she saw their intimate encounter. She took a deep breath. How was she going to explain this? She meagerly tapped on Renesmee's door, bracing herself for the awkward upcoming conversation. She didn't answer, just kept wailing. Bella just stared at her daughter. That's all she could manage to do.

A few moments passed before she found the will to speak. "Ness, I—" Renesmee sat up instantly to face her mother.

"Get out." Her golden eyes screamed fury, causing Bella's figure to go colder than it already is.

"Nessie, please just hear me out." Bella raised her hands. She struggled to find the right words.

"How could you, mom? Did you forget what Jacob is to me? He's my imprint and you know what that means." Renesmee sobbed. "I know you two have a past."

"Oh, sweetheart. Of course I haven't forgotten about the imprint. I know we shouldn't have been that close like that." Still standing in the doorway, Bella ran her fingers through her hair. She should have known better. Being in that sort of physical position with Jake was every kind of wrong. But the way he held her...like he needed her the same way he needed to breathe. Bella found her mouth slightly curling upwards on each corner.

"Do you think this is a joke? Are you even listening to me?!" Renesmee looked at her mother incredulously. Bella cursed herself for getting distracted so easily with thoughts of _him_. She couldn't believe the influence he had on her just from those few seconds. Why was it so hard for her to shake her head free of him for even just a couple stupid minutes?

Bella slammed one of her hands on her forehead, "No, I'm sorry. So so sorry." She really needed to get a grip. She walked over to sit on the edge of her bed. "Renesmee, listen. Yes, Jake and I _kind_ of had a past but we never officially became a thing. My choice was always your father, and Jake knows that. It's just that when Jake and I were a little younger, we could feel each other's pain. We're not quite sure why but it's something that we've always had. What you saw was us just trying to let the other person know that we're there for them." She reached out to stroke her daughter's silky crimson curls. "Nothing's changed. I promise." she gave her hand a reassuring squeeze. She could tell Renesmee was searching her eyes to find any piece of fabrication.

"Couldn't you guys just have said that to each other without...touching each other like that?" She was referring to their sensual embrace. Bella seemed to have forgotten not about the imprint but that her daughter was growing up. She was almost eighteen which meant she was almost at the stage of her life where she would be making her own decisions. She might even begin to develop strong feelings for Jacob, if she hasn't already. Bella pleaded to herself that her inadequate decision-making skills wouldn't get passed down to her daughter. She hoped Renesmee would take her time to really think things through no matter how big or small the situation was.

Bella took a deep breath. "I suppose that would have been the more appropriate route." She wasn't even going to bother to tell her how her and Jacob also had a rather touchy-feely friendship in the past. She decided to spare telling her how she and Jacob would sometimes get mistaken as a couple when they took walks holding each other's hand or when Jake would throw his lean arm around Bella's shoulders. "I'll try to remember that, sweetheart. I'm sorry." she gave her daughter a heartening smile and rose from her bed. Walking towards the door, she turned to Renesmee once more. "Are we good?" she asked.

"Yeah, Mom. We're good." she returned her mother's smile. "I love you." she added.

"Love you too, Ness." And with that, she was out the door. Bella still didn't feel quite right. She didn't feel liberated. The truth was that being that way with Jake in the kitchen felt more intense than any time they've ever touched. But why? What made this moment any different? And why did she long to feel that way again? And again? She had to stop feeling like this and thinking such profane thoughts.

She tried to regain her composure before going back to the kitchen. Walking down the stairs Bella was surprised to find Jacob on the couch in the family room. She nearly shrieked at the sight of him.

"Jeez, Bells I didn't think I looked that bad today." he quipped. He flashed her one of his infamous smiles and Bella nearly lost her footing but caught herself before she had another embarrassing moment today.

"Come on, Bella! Get your shit together." she whispered to herself.

"What was that?" Jacob pressed. Truth was, he heard her. Loud and clear. Looked like their moment in the kitchen had an effect on her too. But why? He'd picked up that she wasn't happy but is she not happy about…? Her frantic voice interrupted his thoughts.

"Nothing. How's your leg?" She made an attempt to change the subject. Bella cursed herself again for not knowing when to keep her thoughts in her head at the right moments.

"It's getting there. Are you okay?" Something was definitely up. She may be a vamp now but she's acting like her human self more than ever since the change.

"What? Who, me? Sure, sure. I am great." she threw two thumbs up as a finishing move to convince her best friend that she wasn't anything otherwise. Bella was acting off the walls and she knew it. And she knew Jacob knew it. He always read her so easily.

"You wanna talk about it, honey?" _Jesus_. He had to stop calling her that. "Come here." He patted the space next to him on the couch. She stood there staring at the area he was gesturing towards, biting her lip. _If you avoid him now, he'll just keep prying_, she pondered. With a heavy sigh, she gave in and joined him on the sofa, careful to keep an appropriate distance.

She stared at her hands in her lap. "Jake, look. I—" he cut her off.

"You're not happy." she turned to him with wide eyes. She hated that she could never fool the man. That wasn't what she was going to say, but it was true so what did it matter anyway? "Why aren't you happy?" he added bluntly.

"Jake, honestly I'm not even sure. But that's not of any importance right now. Nessie saw us. That was her running up the stairs." She fiddled with her fingers. "We have to remember to keep our distance." she mumbled.

"You felt it too, huh?" he asked in a hush tone.

"Excuse me?" He acted like he hadn't heard a word she just said. Bella was stumped.

He turned to look her in her blood-red eyes. "When I touched you, did you feel something?" He couldn't be serious. She did not want to have this talk. Not now or ever. It wasn't safe.

She found herself lost for words, contemplating whether she should lie or just say nothing. Bella went with the latter. Her cheeks turned red. If she didn't know any better, she would think that her cheeks actually _felt_ warm also. She didn't like where he was going with this. She rose from the couch and made a stride towards the door.

Jacob followed behind. His leg must have been healing faster than she thought, judging by his speed as he caught up to her. "Where are you going?" he called.

She whipped her head around. "I am not doing this! Did you not hear me say Renesmee, your imprint, saw us?" she charged. She quickly glanced towards the stairs to make sure her daughter hadn't left her room.

"Is there a point to you telling me this?" he replied. Yes, Renesmee was his imprint but she wasn't his soulmate. It was Bella. It always was.

Jacob was giving her that look again; the "I'm in love with you" look. Bella shook her head in silence. She couldn't believe it.

After all this time? Still? Even after the imprint. All she could do is stop and stare, tears trickling once again.

She didn't understand.

"Renesmee will always be my imprint. She's bound to my soul, I will do anything for her. But I won't give her my heart. I can't." he paused. He brought his hands to Bella's cheeks and looked her dead in the eyes. "My heart belongs to you, Bells."

She still didn't understand. Her voice was uneasy, "Wh—what about Renesmee? She was crying when I went to talk to her." Bella wiped one of her own tears and removed his hands from her face.

"I don't think of Renesmee in that way, honey. What, did you honestly expect me to wait for her to get older and become intimate with her and give her a family? I could never do that! Not with my best friend's daughter." he uttered. Bella saw the resolution in his chestnut eyes. He was serious. But there_ had_ to be someone else he could make happy.

Bella couldn't take this. She went to yank the front door open but Jacob grabbed her arm and tugged her towards his now steaming form. She made an attempt to pull away but to no avail. Jacob had her pressed between the door and his towering body and his hands above her head. She was immovable. "You never answered my question." he snarled. Their foreheads now touching.

"Jacob, _please_." she pleaded. "Renesmee could hear u—" Jacob lowered his head so his lips were by her left ear.

"Let her." he whispered. "Now answer me, did you feel anything earlier? Yes or no."

What was even the point in trying anymore? Bella's body quivered when she finally answered, "Yes." Her answer came out more like a moan. "Are you happy now?" she gritted her teeth.

"Oh, honey. I won't be happy until you're officially mine." He lowered his voice again. He left her absolutely no room to move. Right now he was holding her captive in her own home. Her chest was tight against his "But, knowing that I have…" he methodically slid one hand down to massage his sole lover's soft locks, he watched as Bella's eyes closed in bliss. He chuckled lowly at her reaction. "…such an effect on you leaves me feeling…" He bent down to touch his lips ever-so-lightly to her neck, causing Bella to whimper, "Pretty fucking good."

The sound of a roaring engine on the other side of the door saved Bella from coming undone.

"Loverboy's home." Jacob mocked. He finally backed away and returned to the sofa, like nothing happened.

Left with flustered cheeks and weak knees, Bella defeatedly whispered "_Shit_."

**A/N: Thanks for reading!**


	3. Affects

**A/N: I do not own the Twilight franchise or any of its characters. They belong to Stephenie Meyer. Thanks for reading!**

**Chapter 3: Affects**

They all sat like statues, no one saying a single word. Bella kept her head hung low, her auburn hair covering her face which worked to her benefit, she couldn't brave Jacob's gaze. She could feel his eyes on her, staying there. And her anxiety wouldn't allow her to look directly at her husband either.

Edward was the first to slice at the thick tension, "How are things, Jacob?" he asked.

Jacob had to keep himself from rolling his eyes. It was always the same question every time he saw the God forsaken bloodsucker. How Bella managed to put up with living such a mundane life with him, he will never understand. He threw on a fake grin instead, "Things are going pretty good, thanks."

Bella shuddered. Those words haunted her from just minutes ago during Jacob's handsy exploration. Without thinking, her hand traveled to the nape of her neck where his hands once were, realizing she missed his warmth. His touch took captivity of her mind. She was reminded of the day he kissed her without her consent and gave herself a broken hand. She only punched him because it validated how she felt about him. Jacob had told her she felt something for him as he did for her, and he was right. He'd always been right. Bella was just too much of a coward to admit it until it was too late. She had been young and dumb for sure...

Edward pulled her out of her trance. "Love," he turned to her, "is something wrong?"

Bella's head whipped up in an instant. "No, no. I'm fine. How was hunting?" she returned.

"Same old, same old." He got up from his position on the couch to kiss her forehead and for the first time in a long time she shivered at the contact. Edward paid it no attention and walked through to the kitchen.

Jacob never took his brown eyes off of Bella, revelling in what he just witnessed. His best friend, a married woman, just convulsed to her husband's usually endearing graze. The man never thought he would see her react in such a way, at least certainly not with the vamp. Edward was her choice and declaredly full of promise. Jacob never accepted it but at the end of the day he couldn't really do much to change Bella's mind. He was not going to force her to do something that she made clear she didn't want to do. He already knew that a life with Edward wasn't the best choice. Sure, Edward loved her but this life they've built was utterly lifeless. She deserved someone who gave her life and not—quite literally—suck it out of her. Edward was incapable of giving her the life she truly deserved. He just wished she had realized this back then. Bella deserved someone who she could do anything she wanted with. There was so much that Bella couldn't do now that she could before. No more outside strolls no matter the time of day. No more finding her in the kitchen covered in stains from the family dinner she was preparing. Jacob just couldn't understand why she would give up so much. After all these years he still doesn't take a liking to Edward but he appreciated the fact that he too tried to talk Bella out of becoming one of them, but all to no use. If she really wanted to be with Edward, fine, but why throw her life away in the process?

Bella lifted her head slightly to catch Jacob staring at her, seeming to be in deep thought. She wondered if he was replaying what they just did in his head too. She heard Edward call from the kitchen over the running faucet, "You know, I would really love it if you'd join me next time. I miss you." He strolled back into the room drying his stony hands. "Think about it?" he continued.

"Yeah, sure." she lied. Bella quickly grew tired of hunting, at least, more speedily than the rest of the Cullen clan. Rosalie warned that she would crave blood when she became a newborn but strangely enough it only took Bella a year to wean herself off of it. She watched as Edward flew up the stairs in 4 swift strides. She heard him walking towards Renesmee's room. "You need to leave, now." she said to Jacob with as much sternness as possible. At this current moment, she despised him. He had some damn nerve! Touching her like that and just go sit on _her _couch like nothing even happened, unbelievable.

"What was that?" Jacob probed. Bella must have been thinking out loud again.

She rose from the couch. "You are unbelievable!" she shouted, then brought her voice down to an angry whisper. "You cannot touch me like that ever again. If you do, I will end you." she continued. "Am I understood?"

Jacob looked like he was on the brink of laughing. He didn't take her seriously. Usually Bella ran her fingers through her hair out of habit, but right now she was doing it to keep herself from ripping him apart.

"What is the matter with you?!" she was going to lose it. Edward picked up on her screaming.

"Bella, is there a problem?" he called from upstairs.

"Nope!" Jacob was quick to answer. "She's good. I just told her another one of my inappropriate jokes." To Bella's surprise, Edward didn't push the subject. Sounds of him walking above them faded as their bedroom door shut. She rolled her eyes as she walked towards the door.

"Get. out." Bella ordered, standing by the now open front door. Her glare made something stir inside of Jacob, but it wasn't fear. Jacob fulfilled her request and sat up from his lazy slouch.

He calmly walked over to her but stopped close in proximity. "Bells," he spoke so only she could hear him, "I'm sorry for touching you like that earlier." Then he pulled back so he could look straight into her eyes. He waited a moment before he said, "But I am not sorry for wanting to touch you."

Bella froze, the only thing moving was her chest from her heavy breathing. Everything went hazy. She stood there, paralyzed.

Jacob leaned down and pressed his lips to her cheek. "Goodnight, Bells." he said sweetly. It appeared that Bella lost her ability to speak as well.

By the time she came back to her senses, Jacob was gone. "What is he doing to me?" she begged.

* * *

The warm running water felt pleasant on Bella's frigid skin. She dabbed heaps of her favorite strawberry-scented shampoo onto her hands and massaged it into her hair. When the shampoo was rinsed out she grabbed her pomegranate and lemon verbena body wash. As she rubbed the lather onto her small body, she felt the water get warmer but she paid it no mind. She was continuing to work up a lather when she felt a pair of arms wrap around her middle. She smiled at the contact.

"It's been forever since you've joined me for a shower." she breathed as she settled into the embrace. She sighed, "I've missed this." She closed her eyes in bliss as she felt hands rubbing her stomach. Keeping her eyes closed, she turned around to kiss the man who was holding her so lovingly. She started with his lips, and trailed kisses along his neck and shoulder.

Her caresses achieved a deep moan, "Bells…" Her red eyes shot open wide in an instant to discover she was in the shower with Jacob. He returned the favor and began to place soft kisses down her neck. Her head told her to refuse them but her body betrayed her. The movement of his lips along her neck caused her to whimper. She threw her head back to give him more room to work his magic and she could feel every inch of him against her when—

"Bella! Bella! Please wake up, open your eyes!" It was Edward, he was shaking her furiously.

"What is it? Is Renesmee alright?" she sat up urgently, reacting to Edward's panicking.

"I'm fine, Mom." her daughter replied. Bella realized they were in her and Edward's bedroom. Renesmee was sitting in her leather chair by the closet. "We're not sure if you are, though."

"Why? I'm okay, I was just sleepi—" Bella halted. She had just realized why they were so anxious.

She shouldn't have been sleeping. The woman hasn't slept in four years.

"That's not all, Bella." Bella turned to Edward. Did he know what she dreamt about? Had she been talking in her sleep?

"What is it?" her voice shook.

"Go look in the mirror." her husband answered unsteadily. With a slow nod, Bella removed the thick duvet along with the book she'd been reading and hesitantly made her way to the full body mirror.

She covered her mouth with her hands in disbelief. Her eyes lost their red hue. They were brown again.

"How could this happen?" Bells whispered to herself. She was at a loss for words.

She didn't know which was more mind-staggering: her eyes reverting to their original color, sleeping, or her first dream in four years being about _Jacob_.

**A/N: Thanks for reading!**


	4. Release

**A/N: I do not own the Twilight franchise or any of its characters. They belong to Stephenie Meyer. Thanks for reading!**

**Chapter 4: Release**

Bella hadn't seen Jacob for the next 2 weeks. He didn't even bother to come see Renesmee. When questioned about his unusual disappearance by her daughter or Edward, the best she could come up with was that he needed time to work on his "inner peace"; which Bella would then facepalm herself for. It probably wasn't a lie, but it was a lousy excuse. She knew the real reason Jake hadn't been around lately. He most likely couldn't handle being around her. The two kept ending up in some sort of physically sensual situation.

Bella thought about this. She couldn't quite put two and two together for why he would start acting like this now. He tried to win her over multiple times before she married Edward, and to her knowledge any future with Jacob as anything more than his best friend was irrelevant. And when they touched each other, it would never feel as right as it felt recently. Of course they've hugged and held hands and so on before but it was as if the effects of their physical contact had been heightened. There were days where she found herself almost _craving_ to be around him.

And when Bella wasn't thinking about Jacob she was studying her recent outer changes. Her eyes were brown again and she regained the ability to sleep. Bella didn't necessarily count these as disadvantages and this is just one of the things that scared her. If you were to ask her if she wanted to become a vampire with supernatural abilities or remain a boring human six years ago, she would pick the former without a second thought. However, lately she found life with Edward to be quite the drag. She often felt ashamed of herself. She felt like she wasted everyone's time. What was the point of even falling in love with Edward? Starting a family? She wasn't sure if the answer was just unwise decisions or fear. As Bella thought about all of this, she wondered if this was _meant_ to happen. Was she just scared of a life with her best friend? Was a life with Jacob inevitable?

Her and Jake needed to talk ASAP. She picked up the telephone on the table by the couch and dialed him. The phone rang 3 times before he answered.

"Hello?" his voice sounded scruffy. He must have just woken up.

"Hey, Jake. Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you." Bella replied, though, it was a little past twelve o'clock. Bella couldn't fathom why he would still be asleep at this time of day? "Um, I was just….thinking about you. I hope you're okay. I was hoping we could talk. We could go to your favorite diner. My treat."

It took him a few seconds to respond. "Yeah, sure. That sounds nice, actually. I'll be there in an hour. See you."

"Bye, Jake." She put the phone back on the receiver. She called up the stairs, "Edward! I'm hanging with Jake today, we're going to Bay Cafe."

"So you're not coming with me and Ness?" Edward countered. _Crap_, Bella thought. She completely forgot about their plans. They were supposed to be taking a trip to visit Alice and Jasper. But she really needed to talk to Jacob. She had so many questions and so much to get off her chest.

"Oh. I guess not. Jake needs me right now," she replied, sticking to her original story.

"Okay...I suppose I'll just tell Alice you can't make it," he said descending down the stairs.

"Thank you, I appreciate that." she watched as he walked towards her. She reached up to give him a quick kiss. "I'm sorry," she added. And she meant it. The last time she saw Alice and Jasper was last Christmas and now it was the second week of November. "Tell them I said hi?" Bella asked.

"Of course." he grinned as he put on his black trench coat. "Ness! Come on!" he hollered up the stairs. Renesmee came down in a crisp white shirt with lace sleeves and black denim jeans to match. Bella realized she decided to top off her outfit with the sparkly silver Ugg boots Alice brought her. She took a minute to acknowledge that she had a truly beautiful daughter. Renesmee noticed her staring.

"God, mom. I'm going to Aunt Alice's not senior prom." her daughter rolled her eyes.

"Sorry for staring," she apologized. Her daughter hated the attention just as much as she did. "You look beautiful. Are you wearing makeup?" Bella noticed a hint of mascara.

"A bit, yeah. Aunt Alice mailed some over a little while back. Is it too much?" Bella shook her head.

"Nope. It's perfect. Have a good time," she pulled Renesmee in for a hug.

"You're not coming?" Renesmee mumbled into her shoulder.

"No, sweetheart. Jake needs me today," she answered. Renesmee pulled back and gave her mom a suspicious look. Bella returned a reassuring smile. She knew why her daughter was looking at her like that. Their last two meetings turned into way more than it should have. "You have nothing to worry about." For Bella's own sake, she hoped she was right. The truth was Bella had no idea how the day would go for them. She just needed to see him, and make sure he's okay.

Renesmee sighed before she said, "Okay. Could you tell him I asked about him?" Edward was making his way out the door.

"Absolutely. I'll see you later," she placed a soft kiss on top of Rensesmee's hair. She watched as her daughter grabbed her black coat and walked out the door.

….

As Bella got ready to meet Jake, she—for the third time this week—thanked the heavens for her red eyes being no more. It was a breath of fresh air to not have to worry about people's stares. She still wasn't too sure about what exactly was happening to her but she liked it so far and she was the only person who knew it, at least for now. As far as Edward and Renesmee knew, Bella was scared and eagerly wanted answers. But in secret, these changes felt like an early Christmas present. It was impossible to keep up the act but for so long. Hopefully, she will find a way to tell them the truth about how she's been feeling lately. She heard a knock on the door. It must have been Jacob.

When Bella opened the door, she was smacked in the face by his rustic scent. "You smell nice," she blurted. "Wait what?" Bella shook her head in confusion. Jacob shouldn't smell nice to her. He should reek, really bad. But right now he didn't. Was this another change?

"Um….thanks? Listen, I was thinking we could take The Fox. That's if you don't mi—" Jacob paused. He noticed her eyes were no longer red. "Bells, your eyes…."

Bella forgot she hadn't told Jake about her unexpected changes. "Oh! Yeah, I'm uh….not sure why they've gone back to their brown color. But I feel fine otherwise, which is good I suppose," she shrugged.

Jacob could only stare at her with his hand on his chin in confusion for what felt like forever. "So, they just….changed back? Did it hurt?" Bella couldn't help but giggle. Confused Jacob was always amusing to her.

"Basically, I was just looking in the mirror one day and there it was." That was a lie. She realized after Edward woke her up from her first sleep in four years. Bella didn't really want to bring up the fact she can sleep again just yet. "And no, it didn't hurt."

Jacob figured it was best to not push the subject, "As long as you feel okay, I guess. Are you ready?"

Bella finally answered, "Yeah, just let me grab my jacket." She went for her coat and turned on the alarm before she met back up with Jacob outside.

The two drove in a comfortable silence for the first few moments. The Fox was his new black Chevy Silverado. He had to finally let go of his beloved Rabbit a year ago. His naming decision came from the fact that foxes prey on rabbits. Bella always thought this technique was pretty clever. She also thought that it fit Jacob better than that tiny vehicle he drove for so long. But the little car held so many of the pair's memories.

"Do you miss the Rabbit?" Bella was curious.

"Yeah, every now and then. But I like my Fox better. She's bigger. And sexier too." He winked his eye at Bella and chuckled.

Bella watched with wide eyes as the waiter brought over three plates stacked with food. There was a french toast combo on one, a California omelette on another, and a chicken cobb salad on the other.

"Stop judging me with your eyes," Jacob ordered stuffing his mouth with french toast.

Bella laughed, "I'm not, I just think it's sort of magical that you can eat so much in so little time."

In no time, Jacob was slouching back in the booth with his hands on his stomach. He had just a bit of his salad left.

"Thanks, Bella. So what did you need to talk about?" Jacob sat upright again, getting straight to the point. It should have been obvious. The man disappeared for two weeks without saying anything to anybody. Grant it, he was a grown man but he also had people that cared about him.

"Well, actually I wanted to talk to you about some really weird things that've been troubling me lately. You already saw one of them." she pointed to her eyes.

Jacob nodded his head slowly. "Right, what else is wrong?" he asked, concerned.

Bella fiddled with her fingers on top of the table, contemplating if she really wants to talk about this right now. She jumped a little when she felt Jacob's hands on hers, instantly calming her down.

"You know you can tell me anything, right?" he peered into her eyes. He sure wasn't going to complain about her eye change. Those brown eyes felt like home to him, though he had no idea why they changed. He'd never heard of such a thing.

With a sigh Bella said, "I know, it's just….I haven't felt much like myself for some time now. And now all of a sudden I can sleep again and my eyes—"

"You can do what?" Jacob's eyes were wide in amazement.

"I can sleep again. I've been sleeping for the last two weeks." Bella mumbled.

"How could this happen?" he pressed.

"That's the thing, Jake. I don't know. What I do know is that lately I have been feeling like I have no purpose being here, alive. Everything appears to be pointless and I've been distancing myself from my family and I don't feel like me….I feel like I'm _trapped_," her eyes flicked to their still-joined hands. "And the other day, in the kitchen," her breathing became heavy, "when we…." This was all becoming too much. She shook her head, trying to calm herself down. "I just haven't been the same since. I don't know what anything means anymore," she finished in a whisper. Her eyes were beginning to tear.

Jacob was at a loss for words. He gazed at her shaking form and wanted nothing more than to wrap his arms around her. Seeing her in pain was not his strong suit, but he remained on his side of the booth. "Honey, what do you think all this means?" he asked. There had to be some explanation for this.

"I don't know, Jake," she shrugged wiping at her eyes. "What if I'm dying?" she covered her face completely and wept into her hands.

Jacob immediately moved to her half of the booth and enveloped her in his arms. "You're not dying, Bells. Don't be ridiculous," he soothed. He used his hand to rub her hair. He was just as confused as her and didn't really know if she was withering away or not but he had to stay positive. "We'll get to the bottom of this, don't worry," he promised.

"I may have an idea," she whispered. "Sometimes….I get this _feeling_. Like I need to be around you," she sat up straight. "And I try to push it away, Jake. I swear I've tried but nothing's working. I've tried to read but I can't focus. I try to sleep but you're in my dreams….all the time." She rambled as Jake sat as still as a bump on a log. He was right that day when he said she felt something. He just didn't realize the intensity of it. So many thoughts were running through his head. He wondered if she told Edward any of this.

_Is she changing because of me? Because she wants to be around me? There's no way this is an imprint_, he thought. Nothing was making sense. He always felt this way towards Bella—craving to be near her, seeing her in his dreams—but was forbidden from expressing it because she chose Edward. _So why now? After all this time? What was the point?_, he pondered.

"...and what scares me most is that I like it when I shouldn't. When I'm with you I feel better. When you hold me, even now, Edward is the farthest thing from my mind." She couldn't believe she was saying this out loud. Bella didn't even realize her head was on his chest until she heard his heart stop beating. She turned her head upward to see him already gazing down at her. Their gaze held so much towards each other. For Jacob it was a mixture of passion and longing with a hint of sadness. Bella's eyes were filled with fear but also love.

The roaring thunder interrupted their wordless conversation. It was pouring rain outside. Bella tucked her hair behind her left ear and turned towards the table in front of them. "We should probably head back." she mumbled.

"Yep." Jacob replied. He slid out of the booth and Bella followed, both of them silent.

When Jacob pulled into the driveway of Bella's house, he didn't get out of the car right away. He took the keys out of the ignition and stared at the steering wheel. Everything was silent, the only noise being the heavy rain.

Then without warning, he reached over and laid his warm hand on Bella's thigh. Bella wrapped her hand around his.

"What is it, Jake?" He didn't say anything as he pulled her towards him until she was pressed against him. He turned to ask her with his eyes the one thing he's been yearning to do for the last four years. He leaned down slowly, stopping midway to gently tilt her head upward. When she didn't stop him, he continued to lean in until his lips were on hers. It was slow but full of passion. His mouth was smooth like warm honey. This kiss gave Bella everything she craved for: life, affection, and warmth. She deepened the kiss by slowly sliding her tongue over his bottom lip, Jacob growled at the contact. Soon her hand was in his hair tugging him closer even though they were as close as they could get.

Suddenly, Bella pulled away and exited the truck without saying a word. At the end of the day she was still a married woman and had no business in another man's arms, no matter their past or how right it felt. It wasn't even seconds later when Jacob was on her trail following her into the house.

"Bella, I'm sorry." He said sincerely. He was out of line. But it felt as if he was drawn to her, to her lips, to her body, to her everything. He grabbed her elbow when she entered the kitchen but she yanked it away as she turned to face him.

"Jacob, please don't touch me. Can't you see what it's doing to me?" she pleaded. Her mouth was saying one thing and her heart was telling her to kiss him again. She stood there looking at him, trying to decide whether to listen to her heart or to let her big mouth keep doing all the talking.

She reached him in four strides and crashed her mouth into his. His hands were on both sides of her face, cradling his precious treasure. He slid his hands carefully around to her back as he guided her to the counter, his lips never leaving hers. When they reached the counter his hands brushed over her ass, being sure to give it a soft squeeze. A faint moan escaped Bella's lips as Jacob grazed over her neck.

With his warm lips on her neck, he let his hands travel to her thighs as he hoisted her up with ease onto the marble counter. He was everywhere, all she could feel was Jacob.

The front door closed, jolting them apart but only for a second. Jacob's lips were back on hers as if he never heard anything. His hands were still on her bottom as he kissed her, pulling her towards where he needed to feel her most. He was devouring every inch of her mouth.

"Jake," she moaned in between kisses. "He's back," she could barely catch her breath. He finally reluctantly pulled away but not before taking her lips once more and sucking on her lower lip. Bella whimpered again and had to stop herself from kissing him again and slid down off the counter. She was grateful they hadn't made too much of a mess to clean up after. "Go. I'll call you," she ordered.

He gave her one last kiss on her forehead before he swept out the back entrance. Bella closed her eyes and took a deep breath. He almost took her right there on the counter. And she almost let him. She knew she was treading very dangerous ground and was still confused about everything that was going on. But she didn't know how much longer she could keep this up. Perhaps it was time to explain to her family.

**A/N: Thanks for reading & for the kind reviews.**


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